RE: Snowflake and Judi: Find a new home for Malcolm!

I'm new to the boards but I try to read them often.

First of all, I'm sorry about the length of this post. I've been wanting to post for months but don't know if anyone can help. It eventually goes along with how we all need to be pack leaders in the home.

We adopted our first dog from a family on Petfinder, 1 1/2 years ago. Months later, I saw Cesar on Oprah, helping her and Sophie, and I became addicted to him.
If I would have known then, what I know now about dogs, I might not have adopted her. I've always wanted a dog for my kids and grew up with dogs and I thought I knew how to raise them. Now I see friends, family and other people making big mistakes with their dogs, now that I know Cesars way.

She's a very friendly, sweet, happy, almost 3 years old Husky-Shepard mix. She loves to play and has a high energy, but can be quiet and disciplined as well. She's a very good dog with no aggression issues at all (wel..I suppose she does towards wildlife, but it seems like playing to me). We are mastering the walk...I had to get her a backpack to slow her down a bit, which is working, but she still wants to meet every person and dog (she loves everyone!) we go by and these dogs are in their fenced in yards. She's getting better, but there are two pit bulls that run at the fence and growl and bark...she really wants to go to the fence and meet them, but I correct her with the chain (which takes 3-4 times to get her focused on me) and we keep walking.
I always switch sides of the sidewalk to avoid her coming towards walking dogs. She pulls and gets all excited, even for some people(she's gotten much better though), but once she "meets" them, she's fine and will just ignore them. It's the initial "meeting" that she gets all crazy about. It's very embarrassing and frustrating. It makes me feel like a failure as a pack leader. I've tried to make her sit and be calm if the person wants to stop and talk, but she goes nuts to meet them. Of course, they are talking all sweet to her. And it's not aggression, it's happiness. It's been months since I've attempted this. Her body language is wiggly body, ears down, and submissive to the people, and ears up and alert for the dogs. But once she meets the dogs, she just wants to play or will settle down and just walk around. Think of her as "smiling".

I realize I carry a lot of frustration and anxiety myself as a person, and I know that can't help, but I can't get the rest of my family to understand Cesar's ways. I'm pretty much her pack leader. She submits to me mostly, but when someone comes to the door, the boys start yelling at her when she gets excited(I'm not always home). My husband and my 16 year old always want to play and talk in a high voice to her. It doesn't take much to get her going with her toy. She also will "woof, woof, woof" in the house when hearing people or car doors. It's constant, "ssshht, ssshtt, or snapping my fingers and saying "hey". She only stops when I get a spray bottle out. I don't understand this about her.
More frustration....especially when my husband thinks that putting her in our room and closing the door will fix it. He's only done it once and i yelled at him for it.

I also can't turn her loose outside of the yard. She has bad recall. I know she'd run right across the road. She gets her nose on the ground and starts going. I have a horse at a friends place and I have to tie her up (I don't want to have to do this)on a long lunge line to keep her home and safe, then she barks and whines because she wants to be near us. She also jumps up at the horses through the pasture fence.
I'm so frustrated with this, and I've tried Cesars ways, but I sometimes am not calm. She is also very stubborn! I use a choke chain on her when walking her or at the barn, and once she gets fixated on something...it's really hard to get her attention. When she's in our back yard and new dog has come to the area, she starts running the fence and barking, and it's like I'm not even there! I'm working on this, but don't always get the opportunity to, but she's starting to listen better. I work, and the boys are home with her and they undo what I'm trying to fix.They are good kids, but when it comes to her, they think what they want to think...frustrating. I threatened to get rid of her if they didn't change their thinking.
I really wanted a dog that would listen and stay by me when she was called, but this is not her. She's really an awesome "inside" dog though. No chewing or accidents, although I know she probably barks when she hears stuff outside. She loves people, kids, other dogs, she gets happy and excited when the kids behind us are in their backyard, or excited when the dogs four houses down are barking. She also attacked a baby robin in the yard :( I came out in time and yelled her name, then she stopped and came running...thank God! Squirrels and possums too! My family tells me "She's a dog, that's what they do." I tell them that she can be stopped. I feel like I can't let her out in her own yard because I have to(or they do and won't)make sure she's behaving.

I'm sorry again for this long post....longer than I thought it would be, but I couldn't stop. I don't want to keep taking her to obedience training and spending lots of money, if it's something I can do at home. I know she needs socialization but not sure how to go about it. I considered taking her to doggy day care, which can get expensive.
As I said, she's a really good dog, but these are my issues with her. It might all sound like it's her fault, and I'm sure it's mine, but I'm at my wits end here. Somedays are better than others.

Thanks for any advice.
Eve

Eve:
Your dog needs more exercise! Trail riding with your dog is great exercise but only if the dog is safe around horses. I had to teach my dog (golden retriever) how to behave around horses as we have four and a small farm. She is now 8 months old (we started her with the horses at 3 months) and she trail rides with me and is very safe around horses.

It took me two months, several hours a day to teach her enough off leash behavior so that she could safely trail ride with and be around the horses. At first she was afraid of my husband and wouldn't come to him when he called. Then he would get frustrated and yell which only served to scare her more. A few pieces of bacon in his pocket and she learned that he was her friend! The bacon was only needed for a couple of weeks then just a pat on the head was enough. I carried around a pocketful of dogs bones until she was 6 months old and everytime she came up to me when she was off leash she got one. You have to find out what motivates your dog.

My dog gets 2 ~ half hour (run, walks) in the woods every day (I walk, she runs, usually after the deer) and trail riding almost every day as well. Then at night I throw a toy for her until she gets tired (usually about 15 minutes or so, she lets me know). There is no way that my dog would have learned so much without all of the exercise.

I also take her at least once a week to either the feed store or any other public place they allow dogs. Once I even took her to the airport! (Outside of course!) We watched the police dogs work and got used to cars driving by. Being out in public teaches her that she is only allowed to approach people or other dogs with permission. At first it was tough, but the more I did it with her the easier it got. Now we go places and she will sit and watch people as they go by, wagging her tail just a little, waiting and hoping that someone will want to pet her.

If you don't have the time to give your dog more exercise the best thing you can do is find someone who can take your dog running/ rollerblading/ something for a hour before you go to the barn. It will really help. Then bring a treat, a new bone something special for her to have when you tie her up at the barn. Only allow her off the leash at the barn when she will listen to you. That kind of freedom has to be earned. She also needs a job at the barn. Right now she thinks her job is to chase horses. My dogs job is to get sticks. She finds them, brings them to me and gets rewarded. Then she helps me with the hay. Her idea of helping is dragging flakes around the pasture and making a mess but it seems to make her happy.

Your dog doesn't know what is expected of her at the barn. She only knows that her instincts tell her to chase stuff. It the house there are fewer distractions and she understands the rules better. Hope this helps.

if you like the show, please get the book as well. He goes into much more depth can be done on TV. I think it will help you.

I enjoyed watching Snowflake ,what a psycho!! The sad thing is that I could see myself in Malcom,quietly spoken,first dog to call our own but I am one of those people that can not discipline my minature poodle who rules the house,he is not as bad as Snowflake but has issues!!

What was happening between Snowflake and the owners is actually very typical and similar to what you will see in some disfunctional families where one parent will emotionally bond with one of the children, over their spouse or partner.

This is not natural or healthy, IMO.

I've done a lot of study on family dynamics and codependency, and this episode really reminded me of how the entire family structure can break down when the two adults in the household don't lead together. It's clearly a house divided where all members live in an unhealthy state.

When I see an owner who favors their dog over their spouse, spoiling and cuddling with the dog while the spouse is treated like an outsider in the relationship, this speaks volumes about the amount of work these owners need to do change how they are interacting with each other, in order to help their dog and their relationship.

When the owners start working together, leading together, setting up boundaries and enforce the rules together, walking the dog together, etc - this is the best gift they can give their dog and each other.

This was a great episode which points out the importance of united leadership to a dog's stability and how dogs sometimes come into our lives to help us become better people and better partners...not to mention better leaders.

Good one! :)

Hi K2,
We (or I) do this in the yard when she acts like she's going to take off and see something, but since my family won't do it, she's still doing it part of the time...inconsistent and confusing to her. Or if I have her on a leash on the front porch...she's so...stubborn? Or I'm not doing something right, because if it's a neighbor coming over, she can't contain herself...happy-excited.

As for when walking, I try to keep my head up and focus straight ahead like Cesar says. So how can I see her body language that way? But I can usually tell when it comes to the two pit bulls. I can get her past them ok if I just keep walking and pull her to the inside and say "shhht". It takes about 4 times. It reminds me of "Embarassing Bikini" from last nights episode. The trainer/owner had to really give her some strong jerks when walking past the chocolate lab. I suppose I could get a little more harsh because it's obviously what she needs, but sometimes my frustration level comes up at the same time. I think it's mostly because I'm having a hard time fixing it or getting the results I want. That's why I don't walk her near other walking dogs right now...it turns into a three ring circus! I need to find someone that thinks along these lines and can put us in certain situations to practice, like Cesar was doing with Bikini. I don't know any dog people that follow Cesars methods.

Thanks again for more advice~
Eve

That should be DONE IT myself. Wish I could go back and edit!

I learned a lor from watching the snowflake episode I also have a biter. Problem is hes a big dog that draws blood and requires stitches when he bites. I started walking him and our other dog and he seems to be calm enogh for me to brush him without biting me. I tried the massage but that makes him growl. he just bit my daughters friend today so im kinda frustrated. we may have to have him put down. Ive watched all the episodes of aggressive dogs and have been working with him but i think i may have startrd too late. Hes a Pembrook Corgi and hes 8 years old. Any other suggestions?

Does anyone know when his next live chat is..in August?

Or does anyone know of any episodes targeting Dog Barking?

Linda (19),

The barking shelties episode, Nugget and Jake, is on next Monday night; check the listings for what time. It's the best, and I'm pretty sure it will help you!

can you tell me what breed was snowflake
.
thank you

Moisee,

It seems like to me that you are doing what you think will work. However, avoidance will never get that dog to be submissive to you which is the goal. For children the no touch no talk method works well. That works for adults too. We have a small dog that used to jump up all the time to greet us. We ignored the behavior and it stopped quickly. Avoiding the dog is like another dog going into a pack of dogs with its tail between its legs. If you put it into a human situation it would be like trying to walk/run from a bully on the playground. Once you stand up for yourself the bully leaves you alone. The energy you give off is that you are fearful if you are simply avoiding. Going into your parent's house with an "I am the pack leader" energy will get you off to a good start.

I would use other dogs to help you learn to be the pack leader. Getting the posture right and the firm word down is the first thing I learned how to do. By the way I use the word "at" because the "shhh" for me is just a soft noise with no reaction from my dogs. The "at" comes out stronger and they both will stop whatever they are doing. Figure out for yourself what word/sound works for you. Using other dogs will help with that. I can use "at" with any dog.

Also, I am glad you know not to accept that unacceptable behavior from their dog. Your parents are playing a huge role. By allowing the behavior they are letting the dog know it is ok. If I had to guess they probably do something with the dog such as talk to the dog when it is acting aggressive or some other thing that is letting the dog know they are not serious about it stopping the aggression. I would think about what they do and let them know that you are not going to tolerate the behavior from the dog and you would like them to not do ..... while the dog is doing the unwanted behavior (you fill in the blank). One of my dogs works for treats and the other one gets too excited when treats are around. It might help if you are the one with the treats. The "pees everywhere" situation might just be because it is excited. Some breeds do that. I wouldn't expect miracles from the dog in a very short time because it sounds like the dog needs more than a few hours of training. If you think that you are not going to be able to be safe while in your parents house maybe they could get someone to watch the dog or put the dog in doggy daycare while you are visiting. I don't know how that will go over but it may come down to that if you are fearful of the dog. If all of the people in the house are not on board with the way things need to be done the dog will feed off of that.

My father and I have been through a similar situation in the past with his 'Outta control' cat (believe it or not). The cat would charge/attack anyone who would sit in a certain chair or go up the stairs. When my daughter was two the cat attacked her twice. My Father allowed the cat to "own" parts of the house. We lived far away from my Father for several years and didn't really know the cat. I have become the one that gives treats and have made the cat show boundaries around my daughter. Maybe you can let their dog know what the boundary is for you. Set out a certain number of feet that you feel comfortable with the dog being. Once it crosses that 'line' use your sound/word. If it keeps coming toward you take a step or two towards the dog. My dogs will test me sometimes. If I try to put them in a down/stay sometimes my Irish Wolfhound will not do it until I take a step towards her. I think for the everyday person it takes a long time not just a day or so like Ceasar can do to correct a problem. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes.