When someone enters a new relationship, it can be a difficult adjustment for the other family members, including the dog! For example, if a woman moves in with her boyfriend and his dog, the dog may display behaviors that we interpret as evidence that the dog dislikes the woman. We often jump to blaming the newcomer for the rift, but it’s not necessarily his or her fault.

In our example, it is more likely that her boyfriend is the cause of the problem! He may have an unhealthy relationship in which the dog feels ownership over him. A dog in a submissive state loves everybody, but a dog in a dominant state can decide who he wants to be with.

So it’s not that the dog doesn’t like the woman; he’s just coming from a dominant point of view. The woman is entering this pre-existing pack, and the pack leader isn’t the one who invited her in. So naturally the dominant dog is not welcoming her, since no one asked his permission first! But it has nothing to do with her. It is the owner's responsibility to make sure that the dog is in a submissive state. That way their decision to bring a new member of the back will be respected.

If you are the newcomer and experiencing this problem, I recommend that you initially ignore the dog; just walk away. Then go back to basics. Instead of trying to force affection or attention on the dog, take him for a long walk in a neutral environment, preferably one with no link to his owner. This allows him to experience something that he's never had with the other human and can help open his heart and mind to accepting a new friend. On the walk, make sure the dog follows you. The walk always seals the deal; it is the best way to earn the dog's trust and respect. His loyalty will quickly follow!