The next day, I found an ad for the video series in a magazine and ordered the full set. I immediately incorporated the drills into my training. I nearly beat a palm tree to death in my backyard practicing full power strikes. I told all my other training partners about these crazy guys who fought for real. I tried to lend them the tapes.

I wanted to fight for real.

Problem was, no one else did. I left Hawaii for college in New Mexico 2 years later. In the summer of 2000, I found myself in Santa Fe, at the home of Arlan "Salty Dog" Sanford, one of the founding members of the Dog Brothers. At a small park (one I recognized from the tape!), I stepped out for the first time against an actual Dog Brother. I was sore for the next 3 days. The welts disappeared after a week or so. I couldn't wait to go back.

I was fighting for real.

I fought at my first Gathering in July 2002. I've fought in 6 Gatherings so far. I've trained with four of the clans - Santa Fe, Hawaii (I was there for the founding), North Hollywood and Hermosa Beach. I made full Dog Brother July 2007. I've been dropped from shots to the temple (through the mask) and to the back of the head (without the mask). I've tapped to omoplatas and elbows to the face. I was hit across the kidneys once so hard I had blood in my urine for a couple of days. I have scars on my arms, thighs and shoulders from some of the stick hits I've taken.

It's not for the money, because we don't get paid. It's not for the adulation from the legions of adoring fans, because there aren't any. It's not for the crazy attention from hot anonymous groupies because there are none (I'm REALLY hoping this one will change). There are no extrinsic rewards for doing this and I don't imagine that changing anytime soon. I don't want it to change, ever (except for that groupie thing).

I fight for real because it grounds me in the essential qualities of being human. I know great triumph and joy in successfully defending myself from a truly committed opponent. I know the tragedy and pain of failing to do the same. I know the fear and doubt that comes from standing alone against a man much bigger and stronger than I who is determined to test my courage and resolve. I know the camaraderie and bond of the tribe, and know I will never actually have to stand alone. In the chaos of struggle, I can give form to my inner demons, and exorcise them through the physical ritual of the fight.

Besides, it's fun as hell.